Remember Your Roots
Title
Remember Your Roots
Creator
Sofia Torrech
Date
10/03/2022
Text
Remember Your Roots
Occasionally, I will pass by Tia Maria’s house and sit down with her to have some coffee and chat for a while. It really is a normal occurrence but for some reason, not too long ago our conversation passed through the superficial level of gossip. The deep-level, insightful, wisdom-passing talk that is notoriously known to only happen in movies was happening to me. It almost felt like a cliche thing to be doing, but I’ve never had one with anyone so I guess the cliche didn’t apply to real life as much as it did in movies.
It’s safe to say that Tia Maria is the wise one in my family for the simple reason that she’s the oldest – at the age of what I can only assume is around mid-sixties. I see no other way to support that besides age equating to experience.
While drinking our café she pulled out a Capri Slim cigarette as she always does, because what would coffee be without taking a drag after each sip? After our usual talk of chisme we started getting into the topic of family somehow. I believe the topic came up because I was talking about my friends and she started telling me why she didn’t have any friends. I had never really looked too much into it, but when I thought about it she really doesn’t have any friends; I soon came to know why.
“Tú no puedes confiar en nadie pero tu propia familia.”
In translation, you should trust no one but your own family.
I questioned her on this because I saw that as a very jaded way of thinking, but she then proceeded to explain that you never know what people's intentions may be. That may be true, but I told her that I’d like to think that I surround myself with good enough people that they have no malice towards me. She responded to this by saying that we can think many things, but the only thing we know is that family is the only thing that will always be by your side no matter what.
This got me thinking of family, or the idea of it at least, and I realized that this image I had has changed drastically. It made me sad when I noticed how much time I used to spend with my family when I was younger and how much I spend with them now. In the past we were together all the time, and I don’t just mean the people I live with, I’m referring to my Tia’s and grandparents, etc. We never needed an occasion to be together, we just were, and our dynamic was simply fluent. Now… we only get together for special occasions like Nochebuena, Thanksgiving, or birthdays. It’s as if my cohort has shrunk to only those I live with. Even the few times that we do gather, it’s not as easy as it used to be, I feel like a guest in the lives of people who have raised me.
Family no longer means the same thing that it used to.
We have become so consumed in our own orbit that we don’t even realize that we're the only ones in it. Relationships have gotten diluted in the background with us in the foreground. The focal point of the picture has become our jobs, romantic relationships, school, friends, etc.. There is never a problem making time to attend to those things, but it has come to a point where we only make time for those things.
Those who have nurtured you have faded.
The culture you came from has faded.
The people who love you most have faded.
The background of the picture has become irrelevant. It's all fading and we can’t see it because the forefront is so blinding you can’t even distinguish what’s behind it anymore. This is a bad picture. Without background there is no context, and without context there is no story. Every element of the photograph is important, the matrix especially, not only is it crucial to the atmosphere, it constitutes what the main part developed from.
We have unfortunately become individualistic creatures of self reliance. It was never meant to be this way. We were given a family whose sole purpose is to support one another. We are not meant to do this alone, or raise families alone, or go through hardships alone. We have so much help, we only have to remember that it’s there.
As much as we would like to think it is, this new definition of family only being those under your roof is not sustainable. Learn to once again fall back on those who have always been there for you, and never forget where you came from. Tia Maria’s way of thinking isn’t jaded, it's a reminder; cherish your people and hold them near to you always.
Occasionally, I will pass by Tia Maria’s house and sit down with her to have some coffee and chat for a while. It really is a normal occurrence but for some reason, not too long ago our conversation passed through the superficial level of gossip. The deep-level, insightful, wisdom-passing talk that is notoriously known to only happen in movies was happening to me. It almost felt like a cliche thing to be doing, but I’ve never had one with anyone so I guess the cliche didn’t apply to real life as much as it did in movies.
It’s safe to say that Tia Maria is the wise one in my family for the simple reason that she’s the oldest – at the age of what I can only assume is around mid-sixties. I see no other way to support that besides age equating to experience.
While drinking our café she pulled out a Capri Slim cigarette as she always does, because what would coffee be without taking a drag after each sip? After our usual talk of chisme we started getting into the topic of family somehow. I believe the topic came up because I was talking about my friends and she started telling me why she didn’t have any friends. I had never really looked too much into it, but when I thought about it she really doesn’t have any friends; I soon came to know why.
“Tú no puedes confiar en nadie pero tu propia familia.”
In translation, you should trust no one but your own family.
I questioned her on this because I saw that as a very jaded way of thinking, but she then proceeded to explain that you never know what people's intentions may be. That may be true, but I told her that I’d like to think that I surround myself with good enough people that they have no malice towards me. She responded to this by saying that we can think many things, but the only thing we know is that family is the only thing that will always be by your side no matter what.
This got me thinking of family, or the idea of it at least, and I realized that this image I had has changed drastically. It made me sad when I noticed how much time I used to spend with my family when I was younger and how much I spend with them now. In the past we were together all the time, and I don’t just mean the people I live with, I’m referring to my Tia’s and grandparents, etc. We never needed an occasion to be together, we just were, and our dynamic was simply fluent. Now… we only get together for special occasions like Nochebuena, Thanksgiving, or birthdays. It’s as if my cohort has shrunk to only those I live with. Even the few times that we do gather, it’s not as easy as it used to be, I feel like a guest in the lives of people who have raised me.
Family no longer means the same thing that it used to.
We have become so consumed in our own orbit that we don’t even realize that we're the only ones in it. Relationships have gotten diluted in the background with us in the foreground. The focal point of the picture has become our jobs, romantic relationships, school, friends, etc.. There is never a problem making time to attend to those things, but it has come to a point where we only make time for those things.
Those who have nurtured you have faded.
The culture you came from has faded.
The people who love you most have faded.
The background of the picture has become irrelevant. It's all fading and we can’t see it because the forefront is so blinding you can’t even distinguish what’s behind it anymore. This is a bad picture. Without background there is no context, and without context there is no story. Every element of the photograph is important, the matrix especially, not only is it crucial to the atmosphere, it constitutes what the main part developed from.
We have unfortunately become individualistic creatures of self reliance. It was never meant to be this way. We were given a family whose sole purpose is to support one another. We are not meant to do this alone, or raise families alone, or go through hardships alone. We have so much help, we only have to remember that it’s there.
As much as we would like to think it is, this new definition of family only being those under your roof is not sustainable. Learn to once again fall back on those who have always been there for you, and never forget where you came from. Tia Maria’s way of thinking isn’t jaded, it's a reminder; cherish your people and hold them near to you always.
Citation
Sofi Torrech, “Remember Your Roots,” Everything Speaks To Me , accessed September 18, 2026, https://everythingspeakstome.com/items/show/140.