Hispanic Poster Child
Title
Hispanic Poster Child
Creator
Valeria Zimmermann
Date
10/03/2022
Text
Growing up with a Hispanic family, there has always been this pressure put on me to be my parents perfect Hispanic daughter. Perfect Hispanic daughters do not leave their house after they graduate. Perfect daughters do not leave their family even if it is to go to college. Perfect daughters never abandon their family because the moment we do, they feel this sort of betrayal. Experiencing it firsthand in not only my house but in my Hispanic community has made me aware of this epidemic that goes on in the Hispanic communities living in the U.S.
It was Hispanic Heritage month. The Target on 88th street always had a section dedicated to celebrating whatever the occasion was for that specific month. I usually never look in these sections partly because the merchandise is never appealing and is typically overpriced, but I needed inspiration. At the time I was a senior in high school, and I needed to find a book of my choice that represented the Hispanic community. As I looked through the book selection they had, none of them caught my attention because they all talked about was the same immigrant experience of coming to America. As if I had not heard it enough times at home. My backup plan was to do my assignment on a book I had at home written by Diane Guerrero, but I wanted something different.
As I got to the end of the aisle, I found one that piqued my interest. So much so that I did not even need to read the back of the book because the title spoke for itself. My mother was alongside me suggesting a plethora of books that all were different versions of what her immigrant story sounded like. So, when I ended up selecting the book that I did, she disapproved almost immediately because of its title. She thought that it would influence ideas in my head about being an immigrant's daughter but that is precisely why I wanted to buy it. When I got home and took out the book, I stared at the cover for a while, but I knew I had made the right decision. I had bought “I am not your perfect Mexican daughter” by Erika L. Sanchez.
The story itself was tragic. Although the elements in the book are not experiences, I went through exactly because it is a fictional book, it was really eye opening to see how suffocating being in a Hispanic family can be at times. I sometimes wonder if it was fate that this book came into my life as I started the process of looking for potential colleges and universities to study at. This book led to huge arguments in my house about leaving my family when times were rough. Although these conversations were very emotionally draining for me and partly for her, I felt the need to break the stigma around being the perfect Hispanic daughter to her. This book made us have conversations on realizing how toxic this mentality is. I had my duties and fair share of chores at home, but I also aspired to go to college elsewhere and experience life outside of the Hispanic household. As bad as it sounded, I was not my dad's caretaker nor my sister's mother to give up my education just to take care of them. Did I really want to study locally rather than leave for college just because my parents thought I was abandoning my role as their perfect Hispanic daughter?
Alongside this report I needed to turn in, I had to present my findings. After my presentation, I found that many of my peers had felt the exact same way the main character Julia felt in the book. I then took it a step further to conduct my own research. The month that followed, I took it upon myself to ask fellow Hispanic peers about how the college process was going for them at home. Many of my classmates from not only my home school Braddock joined the conversation but from our rival schools Ferguson and Coral Park as well. I discovered that many of their dream schools had admitted them. A lot of their tuition was covered by scholarships awarded to them, but they were unsure if they could attend because their parents did not let them leave. Many of them had said that their parents gave them ultimatums on either their family or their education which in turn made many of my friends apprehensive to leave.
Conversations with my mom:
“But why can’t I go to UCF mom?”
“Because you just can’t”
“Then how about FAU, why can’t i go there?”
“Why do you want to leave your family so bad mija? Besides, who would help me with your sister and dad? What if he gets even sicker and you’re not here?”
“Because I’m a student first mom. Do you really want me to go to FIU just because it’s close? Do you want me to give up my education because I have to keep an eye on my sister and make sure my dad eats?” What about what I want? Have you ever thought about that!”
Even after all these conversations, I ended up staying in Miami because the program I chose was the best fit for me academically and financially. Although I chose to live with my parents for the next 2 years, my parents now know that my plans involve me hopefully leaving for an out of state university. The conversations we had my senior year about the mere possibility of me leaving opened many conversations that were not easy to talk about but necessary.
Surprisingly enough, some of my friends could not get through to their parents. There was no force in nature that would change their parents' mind but there was none that would change my friend's decision either. Many of my friends ended up carpooling with their friends and their parents to move in. It was heartbreaking to see that some of them would never get the move in experience with their parents. They wouldn’t be by their side because they were too stubborn to let their perfect child go.
Targets book section ended up jumpstarting many conversations that my friends and I thought were necessary for every Hispanic child to have with their parents. Our parents' trauma and guilt of leaving behind family is the motor and reason behind all their fears of letting us go. Coming to terms with your children leaving is something that is difficult but is possible if you put aside your own guilt from leaving your family.
Something that never made sense to me about the Hispanic community was the need to keep your children at home for as long as possible even if that meant turning down a better education. The whole point of immigrants achieving the American Dream is to ensure and want a better future for your kids. To turn down other universities because they believe you can get the same education at FIU (Florida International University) 15 minutes away becomes a matter of neglecting your kids' dream(s), because you cannot put your fears aside. The bigger picture many Hispanic parents fail to see is that leaving does not mean we do not care for our family, but that we want to make them proud. However, if leaving means not being their perfect Hispanic child, then so be it.
It was Hispanic Heritage month. The Target on 88th street always had a section dedicated to celebrating whatever the occasion was for that specific month. I usually never look in these sections partly because the merchandise is never appealing and is typically overpriced, but I needed inspiration. At the time I was a senior in high school, and I needed to find a book of my choice that represented the Hispanic community. As I looked through the book selection they had, none of them caught my attention because they all talked about was the same immigrant experience of coming to America. As if I had not heard it enough times at home. My backup plan was to do my assignment on a book I had at home written by Diane Guerrero, but I wanted something different.
As I got to the end of the aisle, I found one that piqued my interest. So much so that I did not even need to read the back of the book because the title spoke for itself. My mother was alongside me suggesting a plethora of books that all were different versions of what her immigrant story sounded like. So, when I ended up selecting the book that I did, she disapproved almost immediately because of its title. She thought that it would influence ideas in my head about being an immigrant's daughter but that is precisely why I wanted to buy it. When I got home and took out the book, I stared at the cover for a while, but I knew I had made the right decision. I had bought “I am not your perfect Mexican daughter” by Erika L. Sanchez.
The story itself was tragic. Although the elements in the book are not experiences, I went through exactly because it is a fictional book, it was really eye opening to see how suffocating being in a Hispanic family can be at times. I sometimes wonder if it was fate that this book came into my life as I started the process of looking for potential colleges and universities to study at. This book led to huge arguments in my house about leaving my family when times were rough. Although these conversations were very emotionally draining for me and partly for her, I felt the need to break the stigma around being the perfect Hispanic daughter to her. This book made us have conversations on realizing how toxic this mentality is. I had my duties and fair share of chores at home, but I also aspired to go to college elsewhere and experience life outside of the Hispanic household. As bad as it sounded, I was not my dad's caretaker nor my sister's mother to give up my education just to take care of them. Did I really want to study locally rather than leave for college just because my parents thought I was abandoning my role as their perfect Hispanic daughter?
Alongside this report I needed to turn in, I had to present my findings. After my presentation, I found that many of my peers had felt the exact same way the main character Julia felt in the book. I then took it a step further to conduct my own research. The month that followed, I took it upon myself to ask fellow Hispanic peers about how the college process was going for them at home. Many of my classmates from not only my home school Braddock joined the conversation but from our rival schools Ferguson and Coral Park as well. I discovered that many of their dream schools had admitted them. A lot of their tuition was covered by scholarships awarded to them, but they were unsure if they could attend because their parents did not let them leave. Many of them had said that their parents gave them ultimatums on either their family or their education which in turn made many of my friends apprehensive to leave.
Conversations with my mom:
“But why can’t I go to UCF mom?”
“Because you just can’t”
“Then how about FAU, why can’t i go there?”
“Why do you want to leave your family so bad mija? Besides, who would help me with your sister and dad? What if he gets even sicker and you’re not here?”
“Because I’m a student first mom. Do you really want me to go to FIU just because it’s close? Do you want me to give up my education because I have to keep an eye on my sister and make sure my dad eats?” What about what I want? Have you ever thought about that!”
Even after all these conversations, I ended up staying in Miami because the program I chose was the best fit for me academically and financially. Although I chose to live with my parents for the next 2 years, my parents now know that my plans involve me hopefully leaving for an out of state university. The conversations we had my senior year about the mere possibility of me leaving opened many conversations that were not easy to talk about but necessary.
Surprisingly enough, some of my friends could not get through to their parents. There was no force in nature that would change their parents' mind but there was none that would change my friend's decision either. Many of my friends ended up carpooling with their friends and their parents to move in. It was heartbreaking to see that some of them would never get the move in experience with their parents. They wouldn’t be by their side because they were too stubborn to let their perfect child go.
Targets book section ended up jumpstarting many conversations that my friends and I thought were necessary for every Hispanic child to have with their parents. Our parents' trauma and guilt of leaving behind family is the motor and reason behind all their fears of letting us go. Coming to terms with your children leaving is something that is difficult but is possible if you put aside your own guilt from leaving your family.
Something that never made sense to me about the Hispanic community was the need to keep your children at home for as long as possible even if that meant turning down a better education. The whole point of immigrants achieving the American Dream is to ensure and want a better future for your kids. To turn down other universities because they believe you can get the same education at FIU (Florida International University) 15 minutes away becomes a matter of neglecting your kids' dream(s), because you cannot put your fears aside. The bigger picture many Hispanic parents fail to see is that leaving does not mean we do not care for our family, but that we want to make them proud. However, if leaving means not being their perfect Hispanic child, then so be it.
Collection
Citation
Valeria Zimmermann, “Hispanic Poster Child,” Everything Speaks To Me , accessed September 18, 2026, https://everythingspeakstome.com/items/show/167.