Sinking

Sinking

Mia Golburgh

04/19/2023

The moon is out tonight. It doesn’t mean anything special like it might have back in the day, but it’s still pretty to look at.

Xan’s grandmother used to tell her about Astrology, the study of stars and planets and how they affect people. Some thought it a science, others thought it a sham, but above anything, it was a form of escape. People wanted to find a higher power in a time where so many things seemed way out of their control, so they turned to space rocks.

“The hypocrisy,” Xan would cry, fake falling onto the carpet she was sitting on while listening to her grandmother’s remembering. A hundred years ago, theological belief rates were at their lowest, yet people were still drawn to mirror images of it. If not scripture, then planet alignment. If not god, then the sun and moon. Sometimes the simplicity of humans made Xan wonder. “Rational beings my ass,” she would say, and her grandmother would chide her for swearing.

Xan was late to the Grove like always. She lived about 10 miles west but only had an old beat up paddleboard, and since the waterways were always slightly shifting, it took a while to get from place to place. She knew people were selling cheap jet skis and motorboats now, which are definitely faster, but they can’t be ridden into former suburban areas, like Xan’s home. The dream would be to just live closer to the Grove, but people couldn’t really move anymore. At least, it would be super hard to.

The Grove’s MoonFest happened whenever the moon was out, so not as often as people would like. It was a drinking party, meaning no one under the age of 18 allowed, not that older people ever made it to these kinds of things. It was mainly a college crowd, with some older 20-year-olds here and there.

When Xan got there, she could hear the loud thumping of club music and see the flashing colored lights coming from the top of the building. The dock surrounding the 12ish story building was wooden and only slightly molding, which was rare. Most docks nowadays were more mold than wood, so much so that when you’d dock and hop on, you’d sink a little first. She paddled slowly near the landing point and steadily got onto the platform. Then she docked her single-sized brown paddleboard near the stairway entrance so that she could leave quickly if she needed to.

She stopped herself before starting to climb the stairs at the mirror plastered to the wall. It was cloudy but fine in a utilitarian kind of way. Xan leaned in close to check her brown eyes and rosy lips were still there. Her brown skin glistened with sweat from the trip here, and a few bumps and blemishes shone through the cheap makeup. She cursed under her breath at the humidity for inflating her bushy hair, and tried to remedy it by running her hands through it. “You look fine,” she told herself, “who cares anyways.” She turned without another glance and began to climb the metal staircase.

The roof party was about the same as how she remembered the last one a couple months ago: loud, colorful, bright, and on the brink of unbearable. It was always a struggle remembering why she chose to attend them at first. As she made her way to the drink table, she tried to keep her eyes off the half nude dancers standing tall on elevated platforms, by gluing her eyes to the sky. It was a clear and dark night. “Well, shit,” she thought, “pretty as usual.”

Hopefully the table had rum and coke. It was the only drink Xan could handle without wanting to vomit her brains out and, coincidentally, the only drink she had ever tried. Her grandmother used to call it a “gram’ma drink” because of how old-timey it was. Even her grandma’s grandma would drink it all the time, so maybe liking it was just hereditary.

Xan’s mom had liked it too, but that could be said for any drink. It was her generation that caused the drinking age to go from 21 to 18 in the US, and her generation that diminished any population growth moving forwards. They were known as Gen XXX, as in “Triple X”, because of the amount of alcoholism and drug abuse that they lived. At the time, people had blamed it on the generation before them for being neglectful… but people knew it was just a response to the dystopian world around them. Gen XXX was born into a world where people in low elevated places couldn’t even go outside and whole buildings sporadically collapsed under the feet of innocence. They were born observant and sensitive, and had to subdue their discontent somehow. It was a noticeable trait, then, of Xan’s generation, that, because they had been exposed to so much alcohol consumption as children, had higher tolerance as adults.

When Xan was only tipsy two and a half Rum and Cokes later, she finally remembered why she never missed one of these parties. Drink in hand, she had made it onto the dance floor and started swaying herself around. The monotonous thumping of the club music commanded her heartbeat and she started to smell the sweetness of the other people around her. Everyone dancing together, not giving a shit about how they look or might seem. It was an experience of isolation while being surrounded by people; it was a form of salvation from daily worries. The party was always held at the highest elevated building in the Grove for a reason. It was still standing after all these years, like a beacon of hope or of strength.

After a few songs, Xan’s knee started to act up, so she needed another drink. The table was decorated with some extravagance, and had almost too many bottles of specified and unspecified drinks on it. She reached for the Rum again and poured herself a cup instead of a shot.

“Woah, slow down man,” she heard from behind her. She was sure at first that the comment was not made at her, but to someone else near the table, until she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Leave some for me, ok”.

It wasn’t anyone she knew, considering she didn’t know many people, but, still, she felt like maybe they’d met before. Xan smiled and laughed in a controlled way, but didn’t stop pouring her drink. “I thought I was the only one who drank rum anymore.”

Xan put the bottle down and grabbed another red plastic cup from the stack to pour another drink. “Here,” she said with a small smile, as she turned around and handed the drink off.

“Thanks…”

“Oh, I’m Xan,” she awkwardly stuck out her fist, realizing how presumptuous she must seem just making a drink for a girl she’d never met before.

“Samimu Bolivera,” the girl said calmly, “but my friends call me just Imu.” She stuck out her fist in suit and tapped Xan’s before hiding her smile behind a sip of her freshly made drink. “God, that’s strong.”

Imu was cute. The kind of cute that makes your heart melt, and Xan’s did almost right away. She was tall and tan; her jet black hair flowed past her shoulders, and the front bits were pinned up with purple and blue butterfly clips. Her smile was picture perfect and made lines on her face that accentuated her rosy cheeks.

There was an instant kind of spark between them. They stood there by the table for a while, just drinking what Xan had poured them. Xan wondered whether Imu was at the same level of drunkenness as her, or if she had gotten to the party just now. They caught each other's glances more and more in between obviously fake curiosity leading their respective eyes elsewhere. Each time their eyes met, they’d smile at each other and laugh. It was Imu that broke the silence.

“Do you come to these parties a lot?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Xan responded, moving closer to Imu so she could hear her a bit better over the music. Imu was looking right at her now; her eyes unwavering even when they met Xan’s. “Well, I try to anyways. I don’t think I’d forgive myself if I missed the moon, especially from this view.” It surprised her how honest her answer was. Even Xan had never really told herself about her real reason for always going to MoonFest, yet here she was telling some stranger. Some cute stranger. “What about you?”

Imu turned her eyes down slightly towards her cup in response. “This is only the second one I’ve been to,” she broke into an embarrassed smile, “And last time, I didn’t even get to see the moon from here. It kinda sucked.”

Imu’s shrunken demeanor told Xan not to pry about what could have happened that night, so instead she put her drink down and grabbed Imu’s free hand. “Come with me.”

The moon was gorgeous and full, so close and yet obviously so far away. It looked like it had grown since the last time it was visible from the east coast, but that probably just meant that it had been pulled closer by Earth’s expanding gravitational pull. Seeing it in person was more poetic than that though. Watching the light shine down on the vast ocean surrounding the Grove was like something from a movie. The water glistened and, since Xan had taken Imu to a part of the roof that was way isolated from the loud party, they could hear the soft waves crashing against the bottom of the building.

Xan turned to Imu whose mouth was slightly opened in awe. She smiled. “Isn’t it beautiful.”

“I can’t help but wonder how long this’ll last,” Imu said, not in response, and not directly to Xan either. It was almost like the thought was just too big not to spill out of her mouth. The more Xan looked at her looking at the moon, the more she thought Imu might just burst into tears.

Xan moved towards the edge of the roof’s wall and hopped over it, landing on the concrete awning that extended a bit outwards towards the open ocean. She looked back at Imu, and extended her hand.

They settled themselves there, leaning their backs against the limestone wall, comfortably close to each other. Imu sat with her legs extended; the weight of her black boots made her toes touch; and Xan crossed her legs in contrast, hugging herself, which she often did for comfort. Neither spoke for a while; taking turns looking at the moon and the water. “Dolphin,” Imu said suddenly, and pointed to the water.

“Where? I don’t see him,” Xan always had bad luck spotting sea-animals even the few times her mother took her boating.

“Look,” Imu took Xan’s hand away from its hold on Xan’s waist and pointed at the ocean with it. “Right there… See now? He just popped up.”

Xan wished she could say that she saw the dolphin, but the feeling of Imu’s hand on hers and the realization of how closely they were sitting distracted her. Imu smiled as she watched the dolphin until it was gone and then turned towards Xan. They locked eyes again, “What’s with that stupid grin? Was the dolphin that cute?”

“He was alright.” Xan’s smile was unwavering at this point. “I think you’re a lot cuter, though,” she said, without a hint of doubt or anxiousness. Imu smiled and let out a scoff as if to dismiss what Xan said. “I’m serious,” she persisted, “No way a little fishy could compare to you.”

“Dolphins are mammals, idiot,” Imu laughed mockingly, and Xan thought she had never heard a sound as goofy and as beautiful before. Xan’s smile then broke into genuine laughter, which, in turn, made Imu start laughing so hard that she pushed Xan’s shoulder playfully, wheezing at her to “shut up already”.

“Fine, fine,” Xan said, and Imu’s laughter calmed, and they took a breath in sync. They sat against the wall, again in silence, but a wonderful silence. One that warmed both of them like a thick blanket or hot coffee on a cold night.

Imu broke the silence again this time. “Hey,” she turned her head slightly towards Xan but kept her eyes on the water laid before them. “Why do they always have the party on a tall building when they sink so often, like—,” she cut herself off, suddenly feeling like she shouldn’t have brought up something so grim. Her eyes shifted from the ocean to her hands fidgeting in her lap, but her voice never waivered. “You know how they show crazy stuff like that happening on the news all the time, so,” she paused, looking over at Xan now as if for answers, “I don’t know… why risk it?”

Xan was looking straight ahead; her eyes gazed off into the distance deep in thought; she barely reacted to Imu’s questions at all. Imu noticed for the first time how sharp and strong Xan’s jaw was, and how glossy her lips were, sitting perched under her button nose. The silhouette of her hair made her seem powerful and fearless since it was pushed out of her face. It was like she had nothing to hide behind and, maybe, even no need to hide at all. Xan took a deep breath, as if gearing up for something. “I don’t know if this is the real reason,” she started, just above a whisper, “but I think it’s the risk that makes us want to do it up here in the first place. It’s not like we have a death wish, but maybe it’s better to go that way by chance than to watch yourself slowly and indefinitely get swallowed up by the ocean.”

Imu didn’t really have a response. Maybe she wasn’t expecting an answer like that, or maybe it just scared her. Or maybe Xan just confirmed something Imu had been feeling her whole life. A feeling that isolated her. Maybe now, it was a feeling that would bring her closer to someone she liked.

“Do you know how to swim, Xan?” Imu asked, after a few more layers of soft quiet had surrounded the both of them.

“Uh, no, I don’t,” Xan shook her head slightly and let out a short laugh.

Imu responded with a nod. It wasn’t uncommon to not know how to swim. It was ironic. A city where everything is under six feet of water, and no one knows how to swim. It’s not anyone’s fault really, though; back when the water started rising at a noticeable level, and there were countless incidents of severe flooding, the water was dangerous because of open wires and unpredictable currents. Parents were afraid to let their kids into any bodies of water, so just gradually, swimming went out of fashion. “Do you wanna learn how?”

“How to swim?” Xan said, scrunching her thin brows together.

Imu nodded.

“Me. Swim… And you’ll teach me?”

Imu nodded again, and her smile grew. “Now,” she said, definitively. Imu stood up before Xan could give a straight answer and hopped back over the roof’s wall. Stunned for a moment, Xan stood too and locked eyes with Imu, whose hair had caught the breeze emanating from the ocean.

“Come with me,” she said, extending her hand.

They ended up taking Xan’s paddle boat (because, turns out, Imu had caught a ride to the party with one of her guy-friends), but Imu drove. They balanced pretty well on the tiny thing, but they were lucky there weren’t many ripples in the water, especially by the dock. They paddled out for who knows how long to a clearing, maybe a few miles from the party. They could see the lights at the top of the building but could barely hear the music anymore.

Imu hopped off the paddle board into the water like it was nothing. Like no one had ever told her the horror stories of freak electrocutions in water that had risen above roads near phone lines, or of nightmarish creatures that could chew off the bottom of a kid’s feet. Imu looked at Xan and smiled as she took a breath and sank to the bottom.

For a moment everything went silent. The darkness fell over Xan and the paddle board as it settled, still, in the water. Her stomach started to worry. “Imu,” she said, almost in a whisper.

“Imu?”

Xan leaned over and peered into the murky water. Before she had a chance to start freaking out, Imu shot back up, splashing around and taking huge breaths in between laughs. Xan sat there on the board in shock; her gaping mouth curling into a relieved smile.

“Don’t worry, it’s only like six feet here,” Imu said, winded, “Look.” She took a deep breath again and sank down, this time raising her arms above her head so that Xan could still see the tips of her fingers. When she came back up, she had calmed down. “Come on in.”

Xan slid off into the water slowly, keeping a firm grip on her board. She had really never done this before. Of course, she had been in the water before, though. She couldn’t count how many times she had fallen backwards playing on her board as a kid, and how many times her mom hadn’t cared. And how many times her grandmother had yelled at her to be careful. “What do I do first?” she asked, genuinely nervous.

“Ok,” Imu smiled, “Before you swim, you have to learn to float.” She leaned back and lifted her legs and arms like a starfish. “Like this,” she said, and stuck her thumbs up as if to say it’s easy.

Xan tried to mimic her movements, but kept sinking into the bobbing sea and wouldn’t let go of her paddle board. Without saying a word, Imu moved closer and held her hand against Xan’s back. “Trust me.”

So, Xan was floating. She could feel Imu’s hands gently against her back, only just holding her so that she didn’t make herself sink. “It’s more about trusting the water, then anything,” Imu said quietly, looking down at Xan’s closed eyes. They both could feel the other’s smile on their cheeks like a ray of moonlight shining down on an image of calm.

They got back up onto the paddle board. One swimming lesson was enough for Xan. She actually hoped this could be the excuse to bring Imu and her back together after they left each other for the night. When they looked at each other again, both let out a small laugh, almost in disbelief of everything they had done tonight and in remembrance of the fact that they only just met.

“You’ll have to teach me the rest, next time,” Xan said.

“Absolutely.”

They leaned into each other, in slow anticipation. For a moment, the water around them went still, and the moon above illuminated their lips and eyes.

They were interrupted by a low rumbling sound in the distance. Simultaneously, they looked back at the party building. Ripples broke out in the water beneath them, but they couldn’t tell which direction it came from. Along with falling buildings, there was also a newer phenomenon that had only happened a couple times before where the ground under someone would just collapse and, even if you were in the water already, it still sucked you down, like the ground beneath you suddenly disappeared.

“Maybe, we should head back to the party?” Xan said. “It’s probably better to be with a group closer to home if something happens.”

“Yeah,” Imu said in response, a little disappointed, but smiled quickly in reassurance, “you’re right. We can continue next time, like you said.”

Xan let out a breath and closed her eyes, leaning her head forward and resting her head on Imu’s shoulder for less than a second, letting out a sigh as if to say “I wish we could continue now instead of later”, and Imu understood perfectly. Then Xan stood up to paddle back. Imu stayed seated, facing the opposite direction, leaning gently on the back of Xan’s legs.

It took a lot less time to get closer to the party than it did to get away from it. Maybe it was because the moon had moved and the water was being pulled a different way. Or maybe it was because Xan was driving this time. Before they made it to the dock, Imu sat up and turned her head upwards. “Xan,” she said, almost whispering, “Did you hear that.”

“Hear what? The music?” They could hear the blaring music again, infringing on the peace being shared between them.

“No… I thought I heard a rumbling noise.” There was a sense of worry in Imu’s response, like she could feel what was coming. The water around them began to ripple, not coming from under them, but coming towards them from the direction of the party. The building had begun to sink.

Once it started, it happened in an instant. The first floor of the building sank like it had been dropped in wet sand, and the rest of the building shook in turn. Xan and Imu could hear screams coming from the rooftop; coming from the unsuspecting young people just trying to celebrate the moon — celebrate each other’s company. The building cracked open from the middle and traced upwards until Xan, still standing on the paddleboard, swore she could see right through it. It looked like it had been stabbed, and the knife had then been drawn upwards. The two halves of the building tried with all their might to stay together, but their foundation had been ripped out from under them, and they were forced down.

The only thing that lasted was the screaming. People had fallen through the building when it first cracked, and more as the sinking sped up. Some had the idea to jump off into the water as if the building was a sinking ship, but must have been crushed in turn by the rubble.

Xan stood frozen on the paddleboard, facing the horror of it all. Her breathing slowed and her legs began to shake, but she didn’t avert her eyes. They stayed sharply towards the wreckage, in disbelief or in acceptance, she couldn’t tell.

Imu grabbed Xan’s calf with her hand. “Xan,” she screamed with everything she had, “The current!”

As instantly as the building had sunk, the current swept through the water as if running from the very thing that created it. Neither girl had any time to react as it swallowed them whole.

Xan couldn’t breathe. Her eyes stung with the murky water engulfing her, and her arms and legs thrashed around helplessly. She wished Imu had taught her fully how to swim, or that her grandmother had let her learn all those years ago. She wished Imu would make it out of here alive and remember her, so that at least someone would. She stopped moving, sapped of energy and will. A light above her illuminated the water. Maybe it was the moon looking down on her. Maybe it was the planets and stars aligning and changing her fate. Something grabbed her limp hand and pulled her up.

Imu held onto Xan in the water and kept them both afloat. They were miles away now from the Grove; the miniature skyline looked weak and powerless. The water had gone still again and shone with the bright light of the moon overhead. It was hard to believe this was still the same moon Xan and Imu saw from the party. The same moon that smiled down on their cheeks, just a few short hours ago. They caught their breath and rested, forehead to forehead.

Imu broke the silence that had settled around them comfortably, like it had that night so many times before, “Do you remember what I taught you?”

Xan tilted her head up slightly, so she could see into her deep eyes. “The… floating thing?”, Xan asked. Imu’s face broke into a smile. One so beautiful and soft, Xan had to steady herself in Imu’s arms out of sheer surprise. Imu nodded as she began to let go of Xan gently and take a steady hold of her hand. She laid back in the cool water as if it was a warm bed. And Xan followed.

Hand in hand, Xan and Imu laid in the water like that for a long time; their eyes closed and their bodies immersed in water, swaying with the tide under the moon.