What Would It Be Like: An Educational Journey

What Would It Be Like: An Educational Journey

Tiffani Harpp

09/25/2023

As I sit and think about my life, I begin to wonder what it would be like if I were in my correct grade. I am 17 right now, turning 18 at the end of November. I am supposed to be a high school senior right now. At first, growing up and always knowing the answer to a question or getting homework done in a breeze was fun. I enjoyed raising my hand for every question my teacher asked. I enjoyed getting rewarded with chocolate or getting to be the line leader for the day and star student of the week. I loved it all. Once I switched over to public school, it all stopped. I began to realize what stress was. I started to become scared of failure and became a perfectionist. No longer did I want to be ahead. I will forever want to know what it’s like to be in the right grade. I started to hate being the youngest in my graduating class. The pressure was all on me and still is all on me. I had to hear my family say, "You skipped a grade; you should know the answer." This added to the amount of stress and pressure I have on myself to be great. To do something, become something. Being ahead, I had to grow up and mature way faster than most. It hurt me growing up because, no matter my age, people would look at the grade I was in and automatically think I was supposed to have such a great deal of maturity. It was always "you’re in eighth grade; you must express yourself better; or you’re a sophomore in high school; now you must be mature and act your age." Not knowing I am acting my age. It was all just a little confusing to me. What does it feel like to be normal and have friends your age? I am constantly questioning myself as to why I have graduated high school and still miss it. I miss my friends who are now seniors, but they are older than me. It’s all very weird. I feel as if I am missing something. My advice would be to let your child be a child. There was no reason for me to skip. As I got older and was able to realize what was going on, I realized that there was no reason for me to skip ahead. There are programs in school now that you’re able to take to be ahead without skipping. In high school, I started taking dual enrollment, honor classes, and classes that would help me in college. There was no need for me to be ahead or for me to grow up faster than I really needed to. For me to rush through my childhood and chances of just being a kid, making mistakes, and learning from those mistakes, it’s all ruined. Although I feel as if it was unnecessary, I am more than grateful for it. I have gotten to see things I probably would’ve never seen before. I made friendships with people, and it wasn’t all too bad. Constantly, I still have this question of what it would be like to be normal and in the correct grade. I ask this question to my parents, and they don’t think too much into it. They say, "If you have the opportunity, you take it. You don’t hesitate or hold your child back when they are capable of something. You put them to the test; you give them a challenge that will pay off and help them in the long run." I still fail to understand their answer to my question. All this time, I never needed to be ahead. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE IN THE CORRECT GRADE?

I have been taking tests my whole life. Taking test in private schools were so much different from public schools. At Glendale Christian Academy I remember being in a room alone, they provided water, little snacks and peppermints. Once I switched over to Frank C. Martin it was extremely different. There was no water, no private room, no snacks, no peppermints. The change in atmosphere and environment. The community and school looked completely different from what I was used to. The people were less friendly, the school population was bigger. But there were still so many tests! I took a test to skip ahead. That’s when my parents and teacher, Mrs. Vera, from His Loving Hands Christian Academy, realized that I needed to be ahead and that I needed a challenge. I remember taking the test to get into the private school, Christ Fellowship Academy, located in Miami, Florida. I didn’t stay at that Christ Fellowship long because they wanted to put me in my correct grade. That should have been my parents sign, but it wasn’t. They withdrew me from the school and put me at Glendale Christian Academy. At this school, I didn’t have to take a test because they saw my scores from my previous school. Here, I was the youngest in my class. Forced to mature and grow up faster to keep up with the others. Fast forward to when my parents saw fit to put me in public school. I went to the Frank C. Martin K-8 Center. From grades 3–8, I had to test to get into this school, and I remember them saying they wanted to see if I could be in their gifted program. I took the test, and this is where my parents realized I was starting to struggle in math. Switching to public school was very different and hard. I was able to do it, but I had never really struggled in my life. I was the smart one—the one to get it done fast. Now I didn’t know what I was capable of. As I went on and graduated from middle school, I struggled to get accepted to any high schools because of one bad math grade. I ended up going to Miami Killian Senior High. For some odd reason, I couldn’t seem to pass the state-mandated math test. I started to doubt myself a lot, thinking, "Why didn't I just stay in my correct grade? I would have more time to pass this test; it’s crunch time, and I’m still not cleared for graduation." I was at the top of my class. I would graduate with Cum Laude, college credits, and honor classes, and I was a student athlete. None of that mattered, though; I still couldn’t pass this test I needed to graduate! I kept failing by two points, then by three points, and then I failed yet again. Taking tests in private schools was so much different from public schools. At Glendale Christian Academy, I remember being in a room alone; they provided water, little snacks, and peppermints. Once I switched over to Frank C. Martin, it was extremely different. There was no water, no private room, no snacks, and no peppermints. The change in atmosphere and environment, the community and school looked completely different from what I was used to. The people were less friendly, and the school population was larger. I continued to take the required state-mandated math test, and I was so ready to give up! I started to think again: Why didn’t I stay in my correct grade? Would my life be better? Would I be a different person? I guess it’s something I’ll just never know.