Secrets

Secrets

Gabriella Diaz

04/17/2024

As I sit at my kitchen table, bathed in the soft glow of morning light, the leaves are falling slowly in my chilly Orlando home. Memories of the era I thought most beautiful start to flood my thoughts, each memory more vivid than the last. It was warm.. August or July afternoon in 2023 or 2022. Who can remember after all these years? Yeah, it was August 2023. These days I was just warming up to this new life I had. The salty breeze used to hit my face so softly, the sun always shining and life seemed full of adventure every day. As I strolled along the halls of my brand new 2.5-million-dollar penthouse in Brickell, life seemed surreal to me. Everything I had worked for paid off. I never thought I would be able to say that at the time. Living in Brickell at 18. Who did I think I was? Little brat is what I was. I remember I would wake up determined and like no one could stop me. So naive. My days started waking up at 5 am. I wish I had that energy now, 42 years ago, tears effortlessly falling down my face. I would wind up driving to South Beach and doing yoga on the sand. I would take yoga classes at one of my 6 locations of pilates and yoga gyms. At 16 I started working for a yoga company, I think it was called.. Yoga joint.. Or yoga fun? Who knows. Anyway, I was so proud of myself that I saved up $30,000, and with a loan, I started Yogist. At eighteen, Miami was my playground, a place where every desire was within my reach. Yogist took off and my little dream became real. Sometimes smells transport me back to moments. The smell of rain always brought me back to the windy and dark moments in my childhood home as a child. My mother would make me my favorite food, ropa vieja. My first home with its paint faded but warm, in our cozy living room, a worn-out armchair sat by the window. That was home. The laughter and screams and reprimands from my parents. That was home.

The smell of champagne brings me back not as fond of memories. Scarlett. My closest friend at the time. I wonder how she is? After leaving Miami at 27, I never spoke to her again. Her father took her to Belgium because they said it was safe from the rising sea levels. She was fiery-haired and outspoken, and her laughter, I can almost hear it right now, it was the kind of laughter that makes you laugh more than the joke. Scar would take me out with her every night after that first night we went out. Her father owned a developing company. He owned properties and he purchased a huge building called the “One-thousandth museum ''. My little brain couldn't handle that level of wealth. All I could think about was how I wanted to be as successful as him one day. She was used to the Miami lifestyle, she had everything she ever wanted without even working for it. Scarlett was happy when she got what she wanted, a lucky girl. One afternoon, I can almost remember it like it was yesterday. Scarlett invited me to an event that changed my perspective completely. And not for the better. My 18-year-old, starry-eyed self, impressed with the world around me was. We went out at around 8 pm to a restaurant called ‘Sexy Fish’. Before going I knew I had to look the part and splurged on my first pair of designer shoes. They were nude red bottoms (uncomfortable as shit but glamorous). And bought myself a Dior dress (wasn't even that cute but it said Dior in big ol letters). Not only could I not afford that now but I couldn't dream of being so decadent now. My intuition was telling me to be prepared for a life-changing night. I had a feeling I was going to be out of my comfort zone. We arrived at the restaurant. Scar got there a bit late as per usual. I sat at a table with a few of her college friends. Her friends Alejandro and Enzo. Perfect setup. I thought it was going to be just girls. As soon as I walked in it was like a flashy circus. I women dressed in short short mini dresses, heels even more expensive than mine, bags that cost more than a modest home. It dawned on me that this was a place where the lines between good taste and over-the-top splurging were so blurred, that they practically vanished in the haze of unchecked splurging. That night, Alejandro and I just clicked! I was impressed. I had never met a guy who looked and acted so put together. Little did I know he was going to give me some headaches. That night, Alejandro was wearing a perfectly fitted blue suit that was beachy and formal but still fit the not-trying-too-hard vibe. Ale had an unshakeable confidence about him, not in an overly annoying arrogant way, but in his subtle gestures and demeanor. He was definitely a know-it-all, but he didn't flaunt it. He preferred to act humble. Only letting a hint of his success slip every now and then. I can’t remember if we already knew about the yacht or when we were talking he mentioned his friend Enzo’s yacht after party. Anyways he said we should go! Scarlett and I were so excited these cute, successful, and fun guys were flirting with us! We had a few drinks and headed over to the party!

We drove to Enzo’s house thinking we would go off there. I couldn't believe my eyes. A mansion right on the water. The view was insane. Even more insane, his yacht was named Utopia. This yacht was 206-feet long. Life felt unreal. I was about to get on a mega yacht. What was my life? Mind you, this would bring me no pleasure or fun now in my life. So meaningless and full of materialistic people. The thought of my idea of fun disgusts me. Enzo of course took it upon himself to invite half of Miami’s B list celebrities and some basketball players there. I could smell the player from a mile away but Scarlett couldn't see it. She was blinded by his grand gestures. Alejandro was different (as I thought back in that moment), he was kind and actually wanted to get to know me. Yeah, he was a little extra but so was everyone at the time. Far from all of the laughing, drinking, and dancing as if there were no tomorrow, I spotted Alejandro, leaning so peacefully against the railing. He turned to me and said something along the lines of "It's a spectacle, right?" He replied. His voice showed so much intrigue. "But there's more to life than this." His words pulled me in closer. I found myself connected to him, curious to live this seemingly perfect life. "What do you mean?" I said. With a subtle smirk, Ale gestured towards the skyline and said "Beyond these glittering lights lies a world waiting to be explored," he said flirtatiously. I remember this was the first time anyone had ever truly seen me. I always wanted to see the world, travel and have every lavish experience known. We snuck off and left the yacht when they stopped at a restaurant on the river. Ever since that night until I was 23 we were inseparable. Unknown to me at the time Alejandro never really gave up New York. His profession as a broker on Wall Street equated access and opportunities hardly anyone had at that age. The lifestyle I was about to start living was a dream that became my biggest nightmare. After meeting him I went back to my regular programming for a bit. I went back to Yogist and made sure everything was running smoothly. He came by Yogist with a blindfold. A blindfold? How lame. He picked me up and took me to the airport tarmac. This guy. He had a private jet. With this jet awaiting us, all I could think was “JACKPOT”. For two years I must've been 22, we traveled in this Boeing business jet. Apart from the 38 million it cost him to get this plane, the maintenance for this jet was $2,700 per flight hour. I always wondered how the heck he was earning this much at 25. I was only 6 years younger but making 90% less than him! I never understood it, neither did he, nor did the feds. We traveled every weekend. I hate myself for this but I must have spent 2,500 tonnes of carbon emissions in just one year, a huge disregard, one that I now deeply regret. But, you name it I’ve been there. Scarlett joined us regularly with Enzo. Their constant arguments over Enzo's flirtations with the waitress, the flight attendant, or even the cleaning lady became a predictable issue on our trips. In hindsight, I'm unsure why I believed Alejandro to be any different. When I was 22, Alejandro and I bought our first penthouse together. I was convinced we would spend the rest of our lives together. But oh, how grateful I am now that we never got married.

Soon after when I was about 23, the feds raided all of Alejandro's homes, including ours. Straight out of a horror movie, I couldn't believe my eyes?! He had been involved in fraud and scamming victims. Everything we owned together was seized, including our penthouse. How blessed I am now to have a husband who truly understands that what I need isn't material things, but a heart filled with understanding, hard work, and patience. We've shared 30 beautiful years together, and my heart overflows with gratitude after so much heartbreak. Alejandro's downfall was out of nowhere, plastered across every social media platform and newspaper headline as "Wall Street multimillionaire turned scammer." My name was also being thrown around and Yogist took a huge hit. The ultimate betrayal was when I discovered he had another girlfriend in New York, living a double life while I was left to pick up the pieces. Till this day, I'm haunted by the person I became because of him. I never changed until it was the moment to move. I kept going on these private planes, attending the wasteful parties, and buying supercars. It is shameful. I knew this would happen. I just couldn't foresee how soon. I'd hear warnings plastered all over the news: "Miami will be underwater if we don't address carbon emissions." I rolled my eyes at the idea. "What a bunch of nonsense," I'd think to myself. "They can't seriously believe this will happen in our lifetime. It takes thousands of years for something like that to occur, not mere decades." I could never alter my lifestyle based on what I thought to be a fabricated narrative. Those weather forecasters couldn't even accurately predict tomorrow's weather, so how could they claim to foresee three years down the line? It all seemed like fear-mongering to me.